Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Curtains Finally Closing

Found out something that... first shocked me...then made me angry...then disgusted me....then made me sad. I thought it through ...felt stupid because it is mostly my fault...or at least ill take the blame. I allowed this to happen. Allowed myself to be involved.

How I coped? I cried until I felt like my heart tore in two. Then I vented to one of my best friends... and cried some more...just to let it all out yanno? Because I vow that I will never waste another tear. Never. Or another post. Ever.

I will be Bethany about this and not make it anymore than what it is. I will not confront the situation. Im turning my back...Im out of it. I still have love for that person because as Ive stated before...MY love cannot be taken back...it is permanent....will go on forever. Thinking about how much this would take for me to let this person out of my life before I found this out...it would have probably been one of the most difficult things I have done in my life. But this....this has made it easier. A lot easier. Life is too short to dwell...or consider people who who have no respect for you...no heart...no shame. "...you put on quite a show ...really had me going" ...as well as the people around me. Ha. I can only shake my head and laugh now.Things should be easier for them now that I have removed myself from their life.

On the upside...the night ended well with a certain someone...always there to comfort me...I looked for consolement....and I was consoled....with his stare into my eyes....his embrace...his words. We never fight..or waste our time feeding each other lies. Only truth and secrets that I dont have to worry about it getting back to my circle of friends....because we keep different circles...which I like. Talking to him about my day...my life...smiling at each other...it always makes me feel better. He is a great friend. One who doesnt play games...or takes me for a fool...one I can trust. At least for now.

Im glad this happened...no more confusion. Life should be better now.

(This was a nice post. Too nice. I guess this is me being grown up about the situation)

7 comments:

Erica-Lindsay said...

you're beating around the bush Bethany. what happend Beth? oh jezze, everyone's breaking up! must be that time of the year.

Anonymous said...

Breaking up from whom??...

Ahaha she was not dating anyone...

I dnt think she was...man..

How gay...wat hppend??!

Bethany said...

Lmao! Haha yea erica who am I breaking up from.. Every name you name are just friends. Well one isn't a friend anymore. Don't worry I'm fine... Living life... Proceeding... Progressing.

But I sure did check into heartbreak hotel with you yesterday... I checked out now... It was holding me back... A girl has a life to live ya know.

Erica-Lindsay said...

oh yea, i feel ya!

J said...

I understand

Anonymous said...

Hahaha

All I really wanted was some of your time, until you told me that life with someone else was on your mind, look what you did to meeeeee!!

I loooove that sonG! LmfaO

Bettth ur situation makes me mad, I wish "guys" weren't so stoopid, but hey they are "guys..." ne waaaay...I'm glad ur okaaay, and ur not dwelling on this situation u know...it jus shows how mature you are...

Bethany said...

Kiy you are random with that song...lol

And thank you guys for understanding...I guess situations like these are the ones that help you mature...