Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Last Post of The Year?!! I've reached the end of the year...can you believe it??? lol. And honestly...this has been the 2nd worst year of my life. I had a feeling it was going to be...from as soon as I had my first car accident January 1st 2008. Everything went wrong that matter how positive I tried to the back of my head kept thinking...this is a sign...this will be a destructive year...if not that wont be a good one. I had some good times this year...some great times...but the bad outweighed the good. Nevertheless, this is the year I learned the most and the best thing of all...I am a better person for it all...they say you learn the most through the worst of times. I learned...I'm just glad im alive ...sdtanding taller than before and smiling to tell the story.

Bring it on 2009! :)

Its The Best Movie Of The Year!

So I went to see the Curious Case of Benjamin Button on Christmas day and OMG! that movie is great! If you havent seen it...what is wrong with you...go! When I say its good...its good! Brings meaning to life and relates to evveryones might be long but I didnt even notice because the movie was so bomb. It really just lets us know that life is all about fate...what is destined to be...will cannot control fate so stop trying. Nevertheless, through it matter which route we take...we all die. The movie goes so in depth on many different points and I belive ths movie is being moved to one of my op 10...I just have to buy it when it comes out..and watch it a few more times to determine which spot it will take.

What up Queens, Manhattan, and Harlem

Ok so everyone does not need to be in New York lol. What an adventure it has been so! But I cannot lie it has been fun and funny all at the same time. For one, subway station attendants are miserable...but I kill em with kindness...and asians in New York are scavengers..scavengers...SCAVENGERS!!! Everything is life or death with them...they have to get on the subway before you... cross the street before you...and even eat breakfast before you!! Thats why for continental breakfast we go at exactly 7am when it starts so we can get food before they get there and take it all!!! hahaha. Anywho yesterday we took the subway through Queens...saw some cool grafitti...then got off in Manhattan on 5th ave....we walked up and down blocks til we reached central park and took lots of pictures. I wanted to ice skate but man...the line for the trump ice skating rink in central park...the one at Bryant Park...and the rockefeller center had lines that were so looong...crazy long....long like you arent gonna skate til 4 hours later So yea tha want gonna happen. After that we decided to go to check out the Apollo theatre, and check out the streets...oh soon as we got off the train...we were looked at like we were some juicy pieces of steak! We reached the street and cars pulled over. ...staring...talkin about come here..oh no!! We didnt want to seem like out of towners but I guess it was obvious...we had to cautiously take pictures. I was cracking up at Ariana because of how tight she was holding on to her purse...hahahahahah!!!! So yea we went to Time square after that and OMG...not one bit of space on the had to push past people (it brought out the bullies in some ppl i.e. Ariana haha...shoving ppl around). People pushing and yelling ....I just had to laugh...laugh at the frustrated ppl...while tightly holding my purse because pick pocketers were lingering ...(I could feel em trying to keep up with Esther. So whew! ..we got out of the craziness...and headed back to our hotel where we could lay feet were killing me! I passed out at like 9 something...which was 6 L.A. time...and now its New Years eve...more adventures to come!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I Met Kanye Again :)

We both were having a bad hair day but we get fresh when need be...huh Kanye? ......right! I love it when he smiles and chuckles and talks so cocky on the phone about all that he has. Its just him....yanno?
He got smart with me this time...but we laughed about
*He comes to my checkout with like 15 magazines...his friend has 15 as well*
Me: Would you like a bag? (I was nervous okay!!!
Kanye: I mean if someone has more than 10 magazines you would think...
*I begin laughing and he chuckles*
Me: But I have to
*I was gonna justify it by saying I have to ask but his friend interrupted and said he was taking the bill*
*I continue to ring the magazines while Kanye continues to talk about one of his homes he hasnt had the privilege of staying at yet and he wants to for Christmas...some other stuff too but his face was distracting*
Friend pays and he depart...til next time...
Hey...he choses to come to my register everytime for a

Finals Ended...But The Stress Put In An Extra Day At Work

So....Wednesday December 17th was my last final right? Yep! Yay! pulled an allnighter with a group study review which really helped me Alot!!!! walked up that hill in what felt like 30 degree weather....hands frozen to the core. Got in the room..defrosted my hands for about 3 minutes and first began kicking that exams ass....then put in a little more punches here and there for an extra bit of effort. It ended and I was relieved! hallelujah! So it was then time to do laundry, clean m,y room, and pack in time to catch my 12:59pm train ride which was at 10:00am! So as you can imagine....I was running around on E! 15 min til train leaves Im on my way and ready to go! T and Mo are already waiting for me and we zoom...of course G street is closed so we have to take the long way. I get to the station at 12:58pm and I am getting ready to cry cuz I havent picked up my ticket to get on the train and the window is closed! Thankfully the man said I can do it on board. I get on the train with my 4 bags (which I call traveling light) and knock out. I awake around 3 (hungry and thirsty) when I hear "buses will not be departing from bakersfield due to a snow storm in the grapevine". AAAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! Are you kidding me???? So of course I have to buy their 3 dollar water cuz Im about to faint....this cannot be happening to me...I need to be in LA. I get to Bakersfield and yes, they announce that you either wait til 6 and take a north train back where you came from or wait it out til the morning cuz all south freeways are closed. Of course I cant take the first option cuz THE MAN DIDNT EVEN COME TO ME SO I CAN CHECK IN SINCE I ARRIVED LATE its like im a little stowaway...amh. On top of that ...they announce they are providing everyone with tickets...which I dont have!!!!!!! *sigh* So I begin to my little corner in the train station...wondering what to do. My dad cant make it cuz the freeways are closed, and there is one way around it wwhich they say will take 6 hrs..and my dad has no gas money he says...and I cant get money to him cuz im tranded in the middle of nowhere (no disrespect to B-town ppl) and Im stuck here...hungry...what do I do?

So yea long story short... I get food (provided by this cute boy who took a taxi and got it for me), I get a place to rest and feel safe (Mo's house), and my dad arrives at 2am taking the 6 hour trip(where he got money??? idk). We sleep...wake up after 2 reporters hawking us and ppl around....grapevine was still closed so we took the long a flat tire 4 hours into it....police man stopped and helped...we were on our way and I was HOME! Whew! Crazy huh?

P.S. We took a girl from fresno state and a girl from hombolt state home too since we went back to the train station cuz a group of girls who offered me a room witht them in a hotel had my number but tw of them left two behind (friends?)...but thats a whole other post...that I dont feel like posting about....strangers were cool until...DRAMA!...lets just say I did my share of seasons giving.

Ready, Set, Go!

So I havent blogged in sooo/ hella/ a really long time....smh. So unlike comes a couple post updates. You ready? Im ready. You set? Im set. Well lets gooooo!!!!! LOL

P.S. Did I tell you life was beautiful? :)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008



I Love Stephen Sprouse

"This Wednesday Louis Vuitton will launch, a site that pays tribute to the world of Stephen Sprouse and, of course, Marc Jacobs’ Sprouse-inspired redux collection."

Everything that he has done has looked hot to me but this time...the line is awesome! Check out the cool stuff in the video (Dec. 15th entry when you go to site) ...I love the purses, the shades, bracelets...everything!!!

Oh money, oh money...where art thou?

Look At Her Nails

I like it...its cool... I like it. The question is...would it look good if I got my nails done like that? worth a try...right?

* click picture to enlarge!

Finals!!! Arrrgghhh!!!

ONE MORE TO GO!!! I cant wait! My brain feels like it is packed to capacity and I feel drained beyond belief! whew! What a semester man...these classes whooped my ass. I guess the worst is yet to this is just preparation. But man! I cannot wait ti 11am Wednesday. All will be over and I can finally close my books for a month and head back to L.A....where the temperature doesnt get this cold! lol. I mean I have definitely been abused by this weather joke. So there you go..I have bee physically abused and mentally abused...which can ultimately take a toll on my emotions huh? Um...hasnt happened yet...and I basically have a day left...keep it together Bethany...lets go! lol Winter Break will be here in only a matter of hours...I can smell it! haha

Saturday, December 6, 2008

College Christmas

Just what I am about to endure...this made me

Twas the night before finals, 
And all through the college,
The students were praying
For last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy,
But none touched their beds,
While visions of essays
danced in their heads.
Out in the taverns,
A few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor
would loosen up their thinking.
In my own apartment,
I had been pacing,
And dreading exams
I soon would be facing.
My roommate was speechless,
His nose in his books,
And my comments to him
Drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee,
And brewed a new pot,
No longer caring
That my nerves were shot.
I stared at my notes,
But my thoughts were muddy,
My eyes went ablur,
I just couldn't study.
"Some pizza might help,"
I said with a shiver,
But each place I called
Refused to deliver.
I'd nearly concluded
That life was too cruel,
With futures depending
On grades had in school.
When all of a sudden,
Our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put It Off
Ambled inside.
Her spirit was careless,
Her manner was mellow,
She started to bellow:
"What kind of student
Would make such a fuss,
To toss back at teachers
What they tossed at us?"
"On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes!
On Last Year's Exams!
On Wingit and Slingit,
And Last Minute Crams!"
Her message delivered,
She vanished from sight,
But we heard her laughing
Outside in the night.
"Your teachers have pegged you,
So just do your best.
Happy Finals to All,
And to All, a good test."

Blackberry Storm vs. iPhone 3G

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Movies This Month That I Wanna See!!!

The Spirit

Seven Pounds

The Tale of Despereaux

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Revolutionary Road
(Yep, its like Jack & Rose on Titanic all over again :) )

...I'm confused about when Hurricane Season comes out.

Mr. President & First Lady

Must Haves :).

Monday, December 1, 2008

It Is Complete!

Dun... dun...duuuuunnnnn

Here is the ABC Newsletter that it took me so long to put together because contacting every UC, finding out who their Rep is and trying to get information from all of them was hard. Then making it look somewhat like a newsletter through formatting, putting it in PDF and then trying to convert PDF to HTML...oh boy. But it is complete and now I have to start working on the one for January... Enjoy!

Note/ Reminder: I am not a journalist...I am a Biology/Chemistry major in hopes of becoming a pharmacist. I am just the communications coordinator for the upcoming ABC Conference so if you say I have no future in journalism...I already Thank you.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Stop Frontin'

Sigh...I loved him in this sexy. Now thats what I call swagger. Mmmhhmmm ;)

Billboard's Album Review

808s & Heartbreak

"Kanye West has had a rough year (the death of his mother, splitting from his fiancee), so it's not surprising to hear raw emotion and frustration on his fourth album. He's not mincing words when it comes to women: He's the victim who's been mistreated on "Heartless," and he's unable to wrench himself away from an ex-lover on "Say You Will." While interesting, these tracks aren't nearly as fun as the cocky "Amazing" ("I'm a monster/I'm a maven") and the Lil Wayne-assisted "See You in My Nightmares," where he gains the upper hand in a breakup. Sonically, West pushes the envelope by relying on the drum machine from which the album takes its title, as well as the ever-popular vocoder. In the end, it seems that no matter how pained West is, as long as his one true love—himself—is intact, he will prevail in the face of adversity."
—Mariel Concepcion

I think the little plus are the drums...I'm loving ' a sort of African...maybe Caribbean flavor to it.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda

I wonder...

If I would have called...would you have answered?
If I would have asked...would you have told?
If I would have questioned...would you know why?
If I would have chased...would you have stopped?
If I would have been truthful...would you have been truthful?
If I would have talked...would you have listened?
If I would have opened up...would you have opened up?

I could have told you what I knew.
I should have told you what I knew.
I could have told you how I knew.
I should have told you how I knew.
I could have let everyone know.
I should have let everyone know.
I could have just left it how it was.
I should have left it how it was.
I could have never carried on.
I should have never carried on.
I could have ignored my feelings
I should have ignored my feelings.
I could have not cared.
I should have not cared.
I could have said no.
I should have said no...from the very beginning.

But that isnt me.
And now we are here.
....but still here.

Wonder if God has a next step...or is this where the story ends?

Divinely Favored

Fast forward to 6:30.

Mhmm...beautiful. Perfect description of love. And Maya Angelou's part is so is anything but unsure. If you are unsure...that isnt love...if he is unsure...that isnt love. The main thing both have t be takes two. You cannot change someone and you should not change yourself ...for love. It is God's blessing...out of your hands. Wait for his blessing...and when you get it...hold onto that gift and cherish it.

Sales= Death on Black Friday

The economy is suffering? Ha! Well it got a little help with all the hungry for sales shoppers. The recession didnt stop the thousands of shoppers on black friday. Not even people could stop them. Ive heard so many stories of people who got trampled to death, hit by cars, and even fights that broke out...all over shopping. This is a crazy laugh at all of the crazy stories that I experience, the things that I witness, and the things people tell me but when it comes to someone dying...its just sad. Especially when the ones killed are kids. I love shopping but never would I think shopping would put my life at risk. Ive heard of more cases this year than ever...I guess it will just get worst each year?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Ne-Yo ~ Mad

Sad really can't stay mad at don't know what could happen to them tonight, tomorrow, anytime. Staying mad is a waste of time...getting mad is a waste of time. Life goes on and waits for no one. Then life ends...thats the sad part. Forgiving someone is hard...especially when they show no remorse. But you must always think of the consequences of staying mad. I am currently mad at no one and I like it that way...Although I dont forget....I forgive.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Love & Heartbreak

Awww... Kanye West's album is great. e get to see his emotional side. Gives guys an opportunity to openly join with women in the appreciation of love and heartbreak music...without fear of being judged "soft". haha...Kanye is making it cool. Men have feelings too...and Kanye wants to show he took the singing route...haha...who woulda thought? Upon hearing Love Lockdown for the first time I was like wtf is this? This must be a joke...ewww...I had to hear it a couple times for it to grow on me... I still didnt end up loving it but I still wanted to give the album a chance. Then heartless came out and I was like yes Kanye! whats next?...amazing, paranoid, robocop...whole album...I'm loving it. His singing, his new style...along with the afro mohawk (which I DONT recommend all you guys going out and getting) all flows... a great evolves...and Kanye is taking it to the next level. Not saying this is better than Graduation...because they dont compare...they are two seperate albums aimed in two totally opposite directions. 808's and Heartbreak ...I really enjoy it. When you goin on tour Kanye!!!??? :)

This commercial is cool to me..I watched it like 10 times straight...if that makes me a loser then so be

Home Stretch

Whew! Last few weeks of school and I am free! School is kicking my ass! But I am hanging in there..strong! I have a paper, another midterm (why is it a week before the actual final?...I have no idea) and four finals to prepare for. Luckily ..for the first time... they are spread out ...every other day for the most part and not all back to I wont have to go crazy and pull my hair out. I am pretty depressed about the fact that on December 12th... while I am studying for my first final, Biological Calculus, which is on the husband T.I. and the great Kanye West will be performing at the Gibson Amphitheater. :( How wack is that!? I will just have to wait for New York ...or the announcement of Kanye West's tour to cheer me up...which ever comes first...haha.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

A Call to Action

This weekend at the Student of Color Conference was great! Coming together as a unified voice into a vision of students of color who are empowered through their education to implement solutions for positive change in their communities on and off campus was amazing! I gave alot but I beleive I took more and I am so grateful for that. Coming together mentally as well as physically for a greater change truly makes a difference. We as students have to fight for our future...if we dont...then who will? Ending the Conference with a march to the federal building to protest against budget cuts and tuition increases was a great representation of what we can do.

"About 1,000 students from various UC campuses planned to march from Bruin Plaza at UCLA to the Westwood Federal Building Sunday to protest recent budget cuts and tuition increases.

The protest, organized by students at UCLA for a "Students of Color Conference," was scheduled to begin shortly after 1:00 p.m."

Read more here. or here.

"What gets you sad?"..."When someone gives up"

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

"You Can Be So Beautiful When You Are Who You Are"

Gil Scott Heron speaks that absolute truth in that quote. People dont realize that being themselves...being true to themselves....makes all the difference. If you think you have to change for someone...put your dreams, values, personality, ect. on the back burner while you become someone else in order to satisfy another person or a group of are only hurting yourself. I watch people change for other people in order for that person to notice, show interest, or even talk to them...or do things other people do in order to reap the benefits that that person may get/ have. Let them be be you...what is right for them may not be what is right for you. Be happy with what you happy with who you are. I say...if those people or that person doesnt like or notice you when you are who you are....then they do not and will not genuinely care about you or love you. When you love yourself and care about yourself enough to be yourself can be the most beautiful person...inside and out. Its true. Self confidence, self respect and love go a long starts with ourselves though...and once you have it...someone else can have confidence in you...respect you...and care about you.

Monday, November 17, 2008

They Should Be Signed

Rin on the Rox....they are goofy and they can sing! Go on girls! I almost heard them sing all the songs they have up this weekend on my breaks from studying...I would like to say I got a couple people addicted! haha

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Attention Seeking Behavior

Let's talk about guys...guys who constantly seek attention. You know the ones I am talking about right? The ones that scream out random things at odd times just so some one can look at them....the one that dances out of no where when there is no music...the one that constantly changes his facebook status so that someone could see his every move or possibly comment...the one who turn up their music real loud and/or speed in their car while looking at you...the ones that instant message you...only to put up an away so you can read it...i can go on and on. Let me make one thing clear...if you havent noticed...that doesnt impress me at all. Im sure it is hard for you to swallow but may not have my attention...not that way at least. It is a total turn off for me. Be yourself...calm down...take it down a notch. I observe...I like to observe... it entertains me. What doesnt entertain me..and what I continue to ignore is obnoxious attention seeking behavior. If you get attention without doing all this extra stuff then that is great...and that is something that I humble yourself. But no..I refuse to fall at your feet and surround you with attention everytime you seek it..its not cute and it makes you look desperate. You might feel cool..and your head might get big from all the attention you are getting..but try and stop and take a look at how you got that tried...and you succeeded...but man...did u TRY. Oh yea and the ones that try to look oh so cool...LMAO...wearin clothes that dont even fit their style...their personality...but they seen that guy on tv wear it and he looked cool so let me try it....oh my... the try to use all this slang and talk like they are king daddy mack...OMG...turn around and jump in that dumpster over there why dont you. If you have to try so hard that you cant even sit back and be yourself then is the attention you are getting really genuine? Hmmm...But hey...maybe most of these guys are lonely....and sad deep down inside...and the only way they can make themselves feel better is to constantly seek attention. I get...everyone has their own medicine. This is yours...hopefully this doesnt make your case worse. I'll pray for you.

You Going To The Gym?

You know what Ive noticed when I go to the gym? Guys make the strangest faces when they work I understand the meaning of "no gain" but some guys take it to an extreme. You can see veins pop out of their head.....their eyes seem to bulge out of socket, and it is almost as though they are gong to cry...some turn red...some stop to shake...some yell..haha. That is called straining yourself sir. You can pull can die...that is beyond pain....dont push your limit...its not girls can tell you are struggling. Or like when I'm on the treadmill....and put the speed level on running level 6.0...I can run for days...I might begin to sweat alot...but I can tolerate it...anyway...if Im running...guys swear...if they dont keep running then I have outrun them. Oh boy,...even if they were running before me....if I dont stop..they wont stop. Im like calm down...this is not a competition. geez. You feel better when I stop huh? Hooray for outran a girl on a This has happened numerous times....maybe its an ego thing but man its pathetic...if you are going to the gym..go and do your thing...dont worry about anyone else...cause Im surely not worried about you.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Just Type

Have you ever sat down to type a post...knowing you have everything and anything to write about... and then your like...what am I gonna write about? I don't know why this happens but it happens to me. I think ...well...what is the point about writing about that?...or what if someone reads that?...what will they think? I don't know why these thoughts come to mind at times....knowing Ive already wrote on things that have no point and things that would make people think things. Sometimes I just need to understand that this is my blog and I have to express any means necessary...a representation of me. Im gonna try and clear my head when typing now...jut let it all know? Cuz sometimes I catch myself typing something and then I begin to hit that backspace button. There is no use for the backspace button on a blog...maybe to correct misspellings but that is about it. A blog is to let the mind flow...whether it is through words, pictures or I just need to continue to let my mind flow. Whether the thoughts that come out are meaningful, entertainment, or whatever...its what I want to type at that moment or express on my blog. The good thing about it is I can look back on this year of blogging and know exactly how I was feeling and where my mind was on that day, in that week, or even that month...because I wrote for me...truthfully, bluntly, with nothing stuck inside. Yea some people could think..'oh no! that could end up crazy...saying too much'. But can never say too much on your blog. Somethings people cant express through writing or they dont feel comfortable typing... so they won't... and If something is typed that no one wants to read or doesnt feel should be written...then there is that lovely x at the corner where you can quickly and easily exit out...simple as that. Like to be honest I have come across some blogs where Im like...'he/she is crazy' their thoughts and mind set are those of someone who should be put in a psychiatric ward....seriously...they say things where I am like seriously need help. But then again...they are typing for them..and I have no easily clicking that x...quickly disconnects me from their world. People write for themselves...whether it is their medicine...their escape...or their entertainment....and that is the beauty of blogs. So yea...I just typed this to get back into the flow of typing as I think...I like miss more backspace....thinking of what readers' thoughts would be...or judging the importance of my post. I'm just going to type....type and publish....the pure Bethany haha.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I'm Addicted

I am addicted to Real Housewives of Atlanta. If you havent been on it...get on it. I do not really know why I am addicted...I guess their lives are just that interesting...I mean it really is..and their is drama for Hmmm...I think when the season is finished I am gonna write a post on my overall feelings on the show and people in the show. Yea...I think I'll do that. My favorite right now is Lisa (1st one on the left)...she is so humble and happy...and she is the only one who doesnt seem like a gold digger to me. Well....I like Deshawn (2nd one on the left) too...I don't think she is a gold digger either. Anyway...yea...I'm addicted and I think I got Mo addicted! haha

Say Anything

Love this movie! :) It is truly an original. Shows that words have alot of strength when it comes to must first be able to express in words the love for someone (and mean it) before you can actually act on it. If one cannot genuinely say how they feel, what is going through their head, anything, then the relationship cannot work. One must open the others heart before there can be a connection between the two. The other must open their eyes to true love and allow the other to open their heart so that they can share, through words and actions, the love they have for one another. However, if they both say nothing...nothing will ever progress. You would have to see the whole thing to really enjoy this movie. It speaks to everyone. Everyone should watch go and rent it if you havent or you can barrow it from me... lol . Here is the trailer if you want to get an overall sense of the movie.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Hurry December!

The release of The Spirit is just one of the reasons I'm excited for December.

Ahhhhh! I'm excited! I'm tired of waiting...I'll watch Sin City to help contain myself...or will it make worse? lol

Saturday, November 8, 2008

A Love That Hates

You love to hate me.I hate to love you.
The more time apart, the better we get along.
We fight for satisfaction of one another.
One could not do without the other.
And, we know it will always be wrong.

Were so alike, yet so different.
On, one another in which, we depend.
How can I be so affectionate,
when it is my heart I do not like to lend?

We push each other away.
But, we cry when one can not stay.
Why do we play it off like we do,
when we turn around and say
"I Love You"?

By Derrick Thibodeaux

Interesting. Can one really have a "love that hates"? I mean I guess it is possible if this guy wrote a poem about it. Having a "love that hates" would be an emotion jerker for me...why put yourself through that? Basically you dont know whether you hate or love that person so you mix the two...confusion. My conclusion is that experiences in which their heart got damaged...meaning not necessarily broken but toyed with...has left them in this confused state. Or maybe its a scared state...where they are scared to lend their heart...scared because their heart can only take so much pain and they guard it...guard it in such a way that it seems as though they are filled with hate...incapable of love. I don't know. This is just very interesting to me. Funny thing is...I think Ive experienced this before.

I Love Animated Videos!

For the record. I like this song waaayyy better than Love Lockdown.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

200TH POST: "Change Has Come To America"

With a sigh of relief and amazement...I watch as a historic victory unfolds. Our 44th President...President Barack Obama. America's FIRST AFRICAN AMERICAN PRESIDENT! Son of an immigrant family. And we have our FIRST AFRICAN AMERICAN FIRST LADY, MRS. MICHELLE OBAMA.

Welcome the Obama family to the White House...get ready...with determination and humility...we have our hope! :)

I Voted :)

I stood in a long (well worth it) line for 15min and at 6:20pm I voted...for Barack Obama :)

Google ...Vote

Monday, November 3, 2008


All of a sudden I am getting chills everytime I hear Barack Obama's name on TV (No its not because it is cold I hear his name and I get chills and a grin appears on my face...he makes me so proud. His last stop tonight is in Virginia...a state that hasnt voted Democratic in 44 that shows ambition. *Sigh* This is really about to happen...I am actually going to vote...and in a historical election at that.! I have waited 20 years for this! No...wait...I'm not going to lie...maybe 12 years. It wasnt until I was 8 til I even thought about voting...not until I read about voting in my 3rd grade history might be sad but it is in fact true. My family never spoke about voting...probably because they couldnt vote because they chose not to be citizens of America. They might want to change their mind after tomorrow. Oh man...The first in my family to vote. :) How about that? Making all kinds of statements when I step into the poll booth tomorrow...for all of us youth who had to sit back and watch Bush be elected and reelected because we werent old enough to vote...for the black women who werent able to vote up until 88 years ago...for my immigrant family...for all the blacks who longed for a black President but couldnt see it in reach...for every American who longs for a President that can turn this country around 360 or even change...we can help with the other 180 because we need to be the change as well. And for myself...I'm voting on my future here...that is a big deal. Everyone's future and the future of their families to come should definitely be a main concern. We need to look forward...move forward and going backwards. I will walk into the polls tomorrow with my head held high, a smile on my face...and proudly bubble in the Democratic nominees Barack Obama for President and Joe Biden for Vice President. Then I will have to sit back... nervous and in anticipation...until I hear the results. Tomorrow when they are counting the ballots and I watch the percentages increase for each heart will beat faster and faster...with a sigh of relief every time they announce Barack Obama has taken a state. Oh man...the anticipation I feel right relieved I will be...the tears of joy I will accomplished I will feel...if Barack Obama is announced America's new President for the next 4 years!!!

It is up to each and everyone of make the difference...make the right vote...make the vote for Change!

Go Out and Vote...Just a few hours left! Obama 08! :)

Barack Obama's Grandmother Dies

Obama's Grandmother, Madelyn Dunham, passed away today from cancer. My prayers and condolences go out to Barack and his family...I know this can be very hard for him to cope with...especially with all that is going on. Hopefully this doesn't effect his campaigning too much. What a tragedy...the day before elections...

Read more here.

It's okay...she will have angels on your side tomorrow Barack. :)

Don't Wear Obama T-Shirts To The Polls?

Yep, It's True. According to the Secretary of State (of California) & the Cheif of Elections Division, this is called "electioneering"? You cannot wear a sign, button, pin, or any item of clothing that campaigns and solicits votes for a candidate within 100 feet of the polls. This is a violation of the First Amendment if you ask me, but I'm sure there is some sort of law that backs this up. Anywho, I will be wearing my shirt tomorrow...just when I go to vote at the polls I'll throw on a sweatshirt or something I guess. Nevertheless, I will be wearing my Obama shirt tomorrow.

Read more about it here or here.

Don't Just Vote

We all can make so much of a difference. Each of us...individually..and an even bigger difference if we come together. Yes, we will elect a President .... but we need to help...volunteer...speak out. Don't just sit back and wait for what you want to happen...we must go out there and MAKE it happen. Let's Go!!!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

True Potential

"Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential." -Barack Obama

Yes. :)

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Happy, Angry, Sad

I have been pretty neutral about my emotions lately. I havent been too happy...too angry...or too sad. I dont know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. lol. I'm not complaining though. This relaxed mindset is good for me. This year has put me on an emotional roller coaster...Its about time that I get a break and take in the benefits of life. Although I'm not worry free, I'm content with my life...not absolutely satisfied but satisfaction comes with success and successes are gradually entering my life. Lately, whenever I feel a hint of sadness...a little bit of happiness seems to take its course...I am so thankful for that. As for anger...I can't say that Ive been angry at all lately...maybe dissappointed in something said or done by someone but I havent been angry. I find anger to be too overwhelming for my heart and takes too much energy. No point to it...I have no time to let little things bother me. I have people in my life that I need to be there for...including myself...and that is where my energy is disignated. You might be thinking what about other emotions. You mean those supplemental ones? The ones that seem to bind together to create one of my main feelings? They are there...dont care to point them out because they are obviously not effecting to an extreme. That's good huh? Helps me stay focused...allows me to pin point my priorities. Let's see how long this will last...

Sidebar: I wonder if people know how much of an influence they have on a person's happiness...and if they even have an influence at all. I think he does...and I am thankful for the fact that for all these years...he hasnt taken advantage of the fact. :)

Thursday, October 30, 2008

You Can Vote However You Like

"I want Obama...Need Obama" :)


"Remember to watch your thoughts because they become your words; watch your words because they become your actions; watch your actions because they become your habits; watch your habits because they become your character; watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."

These words somewhat insprired me today. I was making copies for my boss and right above the copier was this quote. You dont know how much this meant to me...this quote. I'm telling you...God has been doing wonders for me lately...sending the right messages at the right times. Sending the right people at the right times. Putting smiles on my face daily. He is taking care of me...I can do this...anything I put my mind to...can be.

Discover the "Big Flame"

Interesting and true...Hope you watched the whole thing. Something to always think about...beautiful isnt it? :)

It's What's Inside That Counts

Hmmm...I'm thinking...not when it comes to fashion...this is more like a Halloween accessory. Not cute.

"Designers took inspiration from the body—bones, musculature, and even the epidermis were fodder for many a Spring frock. Rodarte’s Kate and Laura Mulleavy based their spliced-and-shredded designs on exoskeletons, while Alexander McQueen’s allover prints evoked X-ray images replete with sutures. Ohne Titel’s Alexa Adams and Flora Gill were influenced by sculptor Naum Gabo’s abstract kinetic body sculptures. “Skeletons harken to the body’s natural structure,” Adams said. “It gives clothes a clarity that feels important in this climate.” Not to be outdone, Christian Lacroix accessorized with oversize necklaces that looked like rib cages." -Romney Leader

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

"Live Your Life" Music Video

"Life is an interesting journey
you never know where it'll take you
peaks and valleys, twist and turns
you can get the surprise of your life.
Sometimes on the way to where you are going
you might think ...'this is the worst time of my life'
but you know what?
At the end of the road..through all the adversity
If you can get where you wanted to be
you remember ...
whatever dont kill you make you stronger
and all the adversity was worth it." -T.I.

Team Obama/ Biden Email

Interesting email I received today:

We are at a major crossroad in the history of the United
> States of America. Here is one of the greatest challenges facing us
> today.
> How Racism Works...
> What if John McCain were a former president of the Harvard Law Review?
> What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his
> graduating class?
> What if McCain were still married to the first woman he said 'I do'
> to?
> What if Obama were the candidate who left his first wife after she
> no longer measured up to his standards?
> What if Michelle Obama were a wife who not only became addicted to
> pain killers, but acquired them illegally through her charitable
> organization?
> What if Cindy McCain graduated from Princeton (BA) and Harvard Law
> (JD)?
> What if Obama were a member of the Keating-5?
> What if McCain were a charismatic, eloquent speaker?
> If these questions reflected reality, do you really believe the
> election numbers would be as close as they are? This is what racism
> does.
> It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes positive qualities in one
> candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in another when there is
> a color difference.
> You are The Boss... which team would you hire?
> With America facing historic debt, 2 wars, stumbling health care, a
> weakened dollar, all-time high prison population, mortgage crises,
> bank foreclosures, etc.
> Educational Background:
> Obama:
> Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a Specialization in
> International Relations.
> Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude
> Biden:
> University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political
> Science.
> Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)
> vs.
> McCain:
> United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899
> Palin:
> Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
> North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
> University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
> Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
> University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism
> Now, which team are you going to hire ?
> PS: What if Barack Obama had an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter....

Monday, October 27, 2008

Assasination Plot Aimed At Barack Obama

"Daniel Cowart, 20, of Bells, Tenn., and Paul Schlesselman, 18, of West Helena, Ark., were charged in U.S. District Court in Jackson, Tenn., with the illegal possession of a sawed-off shotgun, conspiracy to rob a gun store, and making threats against a major presidential candidate -- the Democratic senator from Illinois. 'They said that would be their last, final act -- that they would attempt to kill Sen. Obama,' said James Cavanaugh, special agent in charge at the federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives in Tennessee. 'They didn't believe they would be able to do it, but that they would get killed trying.' "

Read more here.

Wow. They already know he is going to win so they already had this planned. SMH. People have no lives. What would this prove if you were to kill him? Your life would be ended too if you did. But I guess the fame of doing what you planned to do is worth much more. Yea you're cool. -_- Give him a chance....jump into present times...step out of history. America is a whole new place. Full of opportunity, diversity, change, and freedom. The freedom to do whatever we put our minds to. Why kill someones dream? Why ruin America's chance for change? Immaturity.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Sarah Palin in A Clockwork Orange

I feel your pain Alex...I feel your pain.

I want to watch A Clockwork Orange...I cant watch it alone though cause although I like creeps me out lol.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

My Future Shoe Closet

Although this is a boutique...Cesare Paciotti's boutique...I see this as my dream shoe closet. Amazingly beautiful!

What T.I. Finds Attractive In A Woman

Monday, October 20, 2008

She Will Lose On Her Own

Please dont try and blame SNL for perfectly portraying Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin will lose votes because of herself...not because of Tina Fey's portrayal of her. Her portrayal is based off of the real stupidity of Palin...Fey is just giving us a SECOND laugh.


"Live with intention
Walk to the edge
Listen hard
Practice wellness
Play with abandon
Choose with no regret
Continue to learn
Appreciate your friends
Do what you love
Live as if this is all there is."

-Mary Anne Radmacher

Vote for John McCain


Friday, October 17, 2008

I Like Being In The

A Beautiful Story In Itself


Barack Obama surrounded by watermelon, fried chicken, ribs, and Koolaid in a GOP newsletter. They really have too much time on their hands. SMH.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

School Is The Death Of Me

Man! This school year is taking every ounce of energy there is inside of me. Plus I have to start gathering my thoughts and start thinking about applying to graduate school. I need to look out for more research opportunities and I need an internship joke! Preferably a paid one...cuz I dont even have time to make money...only during breaks like summer and winter...and I am going broke with all these bills and expenses I have...I need to work Thanksgiving ...I will work thanksgiving break.. back to LAX...I'm so thankful that I am able to work whenever I am in LA. Anyway...back to my current doings...I'm taking the practice GRE exam just to see how it is next weekend. I am so happy California Schools dont require PCAT to enter into graduate school for pharmacy...that saves me bucks! But to guarantee I get into a graduate school I should apply outside of California too huh? Well... that was no help. I was thinking of applying into physician assistant graduate school programs as my back up plan. Good idea? I dont know...hopefully. I need teacher recommendations...ugh! How do you build a year relationship with a teacher when you only have them for 1 semester? I need to revisit some teachers...start sitting in the front of class and kiss ass...haha. No for real though...I need to start doing life depends on I will relax once I submit all of my applications by November next year....some I will submit in July. Nope...scratch that...I will relax once I am accepted. relax then either...the REAL work begins then. Omg. better pamper me, reward me, and make me so dont understand how much I am doing for you. With no help at that. I thank my dad for the little he can do to help but yea...smiles and laughter can only hold back so much stress. Graduate School...a dream I will make into breath at a time...first in my family. I shall make a copy of both my bachelors and my masters to Jamaica and leave it at my grandmothers grave...she would be so proud. Ok I have to stop ..I'm going to start to cry. Ok...So until then I guess I shall keep racking in volunteer hours, be involved in things on campus and aim for As in all of my classes. Ugh...School is the death of me...or maybe my resurrection...

Haha...Colbert Is The Man

Stephen Colbert shut McCain and Palin down was hilarious. I cant seem to find the video of him talking about Palin but here is the part in the beginning when he was refering to McCain's drop in percentage of voters and who he basically represents.

Ok...So I Need To Practice Dancing Like That In Heels!

Beyonce can work it out in this video...I wanna do that....who wants to learn the dance with me!? Haha

Friday, October 10, 2008


Can someone tell me how this supposed typo of Barack Obama's last name spelled "Osama" made it through 3 rounds of proofreaders and was published on the absentee ballots distributed in New York? Hmmm...I don't think it was a mistake. Either way...THE PEOPLE know who they are voting matter how much you wanna screw up his name.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

OMG...Love it!

"Tom Binns’ ...Anti-Luxe group, which uses word play to cheeky effect. Why use an emerald or a diamond when you can just engrave the word on a pendant? And the Masai-inspired Future Fantastic designs, which represent Binns’ vision of aliens landing in Africa, will be scene-stealers in vitrines around the world."

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Music Makes the World Go Round

"It's been a tumultuous year of offstage drama for T.I., but "Paper Trail" finds him back in the driver's seat. The MC reasserts his lyrical skills on tracks like "I'm Illy," clearly recorded during his house arrest stint on weapons charges, where he speaks frankly about his life. The Kanye West-produced "Swagger Like Us" featuring Jay-Z, West and Lil Wayne is a clear highlight, as is the Rihanna-led "Live Your Life." Despite appearances by Swizz Beatz, John Legend, Usher and Ludacris (surprising, considering their long rivalry), the focus remains squarely on T.I. throughout. When you've got a lot of distractions, especially looming prison time, it's not always the best muse. But T.I. hasn't given in to his situation. Instead, he's embodied literature's most popular archetype—the survivor—by transforming his woes into a reflective, enjoyable album."

—Hillary Crosley

I like like it how he has all these artist featured...but still the attention is all on him. That equals a successful album..make the featured artists stay featured. I like "Porn Star" why dont they mention that? lol

See...Sometimes It Takes A Video ...For Me To Like A Song

Here is Kanye's Love Lockdown Video. I dont know what his meaning behind the video is...but I have my own and its great. I love how unpredictable he is.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

No EASY Way to Life

There are always thoughts of...If I didnt do this...and did this instead...or if I didnt say this and said this instead...or if I didnt go here and went there instead...or if I had a mother like hers...or a family like his...or if I had stayed living in Philidelphia....if I had gotten an A...instead of a B...or a B instead of a C...(or even...if my LCD on my laptop wouldnt have cracked) would be BETTER. Ha. Better. What guarantees my life would be better? Yea...maybe for a small period of time I will feel better. I will be happy. But something else would happen and then what would I do? change that too? I'm not God for a reason and if given the ability to go back and change things...I wouldnt. I learned some time ago that it is best to leave things as they are...just let life flow. Some things cant be changed...and if we did have the ability...changing things would not guarantee happiness. Just think...things could be worse. Life takes these different routes for a reason. Some have lessons to teach. Some build strength in us...emotionally, mentally, and physically. Some have hidden meanings...some of which reveal themselves in the long run. And to see these hidden meanings..and benefit from them...we must be in it for the long run...hold steadfast to our goals...take pride in our triumphs...cherish those there for us...and be happy. Its hard...I know. But hey... we have to make the best of isnt easy...and nothing guarantees happiness.

Whenever I have thoughts of going back and changing things...I think of this movie. I know..I watch too many

Took The Thoughts Right Out Of My Head!

Lol...SNL had both Palin and Biden down to a T!

My laptop is ruined... ;'(

Got this picture from google images but yea...this is basically what my laptop looks like now :( . I can only see the left half of the screen. I was thinking of getting a new laptop anyway...but I was gonna sell the one I have...I cant sell it now. It will take 400 to 600 dollars to replace the I should just go ahead and buy a new depressing...

Donations are greatly (No...but they really joke...I just need to laugh to cover up my depression)

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Cool Rasta Obama Shirt & Shoes!

"It's A Lil Bit Naughy"

Oh my...they had a little bit of a gay moment So basically its funny up until 1:22.

Got My Money's Worth

I must say...after the 9th rotation...I'm lovin it! lol

Alan and I Are Happy...

Washington Mutual CEO Alan Fisherman made about 20 million in 17 days despite Wamu's not hating. He knows the collapse wasnt his fault...the corporation has been fallling for some time now. While Wamu hit the ground...Fisherman hit the sky! I wonder if he predicted this was gonna happen? He is one lucky man. Anywho, besides his happiness, Im I still have all my money...I still have a bank...more ATMs I am able to use with no fee...I still got my annual cash award of $15.34 for using my debit card so much this year ...haha...and nothing is really changing but the name. Ive had a credit card with Chase for some time now...I have no problem with them...they're now Ill have a debit and credit card with them. Although... I wouldnt mind trading spots with Alan right now...20 million for doing nothin would make me happier! haha

Monday, September 29, 2008

Oh My!

Ok I am like so fed up with the crazy people in this world. They can't handle their responsibilities so they solve it with either ignorance, anger, abuse, or murder. I know we all cope differently with stress, illness, or what not but never should it ever lead to craziness like killing your daughters and leaving them in a freezer for 7 months! That is not an option of matter how fucked up your personal experience in life was! Get a counselor or something...check into anger Jesus...get help! In this case...the lady did not need to adopt kids..she obviously doesnt have the mental stability to do so. Isnt it supposed to be a difficult process to adopt kids? Maybe she adopted a family members kids....even so...they need to research their candidates more thoroughly. She is disgusting and shameful. Poor children...

"A mother told police that child-sized human remains uncovered in her basement freezer were those of her two adopted daughters, and police believe that she is responsible for their deaths.
... Autopsies would need to be completed before they know for sure that the remains are of the girls, who would be 9 and 11. ...43-year-old Renee Bowman, has been arrested, and a judge has ordered her held without bail. She is charged with first-degree child abuse in the beating of the runaway 7-year-old, who was found wandering in the neighborhood wearing only a blood- and feces-soaked T-shirt. The girl escaped from a locked bedroom by jumping out a second-story window, and Bowman admitted beating her with a "hard-heeled shoe," officials said."

Read more about it on CNN.

I dont know about this one...

"Ines Kaag and Desiree Heiss of Bless aren’t exactly the Paris fashion week norm. From the stellar metal fringe sunglasses (we’re predicting lots of exposure in upcoming magazine spreads) and the leather ankle-tie sandals for guys and girls to bright red netted anoraks and even a set of bed sheets imprinted with an image of a lake, unpredictability was the order of the day. Also included in the Sunday-night presentation were updated product reeditions, among them bejeweled cable coverings, mixed-material necklaces, and chair coverings. All of which reinforced the idea that Bless isn’t so much about a theme for each season as it is a way of life."
-Linlee Allen

I do not doubt I will see people wearing these in the US...every chance for someone to stand out they take right? Well, my advise to them is to be careful where you are standing might fall...because you certainly cannot see in these! lol They are cool...just if you are sitting down...maybe.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

I'm Thinkin Of Joining...

I Will Miss Warrick Brown!

CSI Las Vegas will never br the same. Hopefully Gary Dourdan changes his mind and comes back to CSI so that they can say that was Warrick's twin brother that got

So wrong...


“These were the lovely bones that had grown around my absence: the connections - sometimes tenuous, sometimes made at great cost, but often magnificent - that happened after I was gone. And I began to see things in a way that let me hold the world without me in it. The events that my death wrought were merely the bones of a body that would become whole at some unpredictable time in the future. The price of what I came to see as this miraculous body had been my life.”

The benefits of living are endless...not just existing...wishing on a star...hoping and dreaming. But actually living...taking those that life...and actually reaching for those stars. I want to impact the that I may leave this world with a piece of me left in it. Even if I mess up a few times...

The beauty. :)

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

There is so much of So Cal that I havent Experienced...

I must take a So Cal road trip for Spring break...visit all the places I havent been. I also need to buy a brand new camera! :)

Pictures Courtesy of Brian and his sister.*

Thursday, September 18, 2008

New Things!

So Ive been thinking. I feel like I want to minor in Management now. Graduate from here and get my B.S. in Microbiology & Immunology and go on to graduate school and get my masters in Business Management to possibly own my own medical office, pharmacy, or some business dealing with medicine. But, that would either put me at an extra semester here or I would have to take 4 management classes over the summer. *sigh* I dont know...decisions, decisions. I guess I have to do what I have to do...I need to talk more with my advisor....

In other news...I've taken on an important obligation that I am very excited for! I am now the UC Wide Head for the African Black Coalition Conference that will be held the first week in May! I will be contacting the UCs to get feedback, ideas, and updating all of the UCs on the ABC Conference preparation progress each month. Yes, UC Merced will be hosting the Conference this year and we are so excited and ready to come together with the BSUs and AA Student Organizations of all the UC campuses as well as a few Cal States and CCs to inspire, motivate, and educate this year at ABC! More about this later!

Announcement! After I purchase CSI: Las Vegas Season 8...I will no longer be watching anymore of CSI: Las Vegas. Why? First of all, they killed off my husband Gary Dourdan...shot him in the head. Sad!...I knew he was leaving CSI but they could have just had him retire his badge and say he didnt want to be a CSI agent anymore...they didnt have to shoot him in the head... twice! And secondly, their cases are becoming redundant. Anyway yea...Ill be watching CSI: Miami now. Horatio is a little too dramatic but hey...their cases are pretty interesting!

Oh yea, so this morning at like 12:30am( Yea, Im usually asleep by 11:30 pm during the week so I can be able to wake up for the gym at 6:30am...but it was Mo's birthday so this is an exception! Brian asked me to be his critic. lol. He began to practice playing the guitar and get lessons from his roommate like 2 weeks ago. He was so excited that he had learned one song and he wanted me to be the first to judge! He began to play "How to Save a Life" by the Fray and I was so excited for him! He was great and It has only been two weeks and he had no prior experience! So yea I was very happy for him and I told him as soon as he learns a second song...he must teach me how to play the guitar!....Im so excited! Playing the guitar was like a childhood dream for me that slowly dissappeared with time because it seemed so out of reach. But now Im determined and I shall be a guitar player soon! :)

Sidebar: I've realized that life constantly brings changes but the things that REALLY matter...ALWAYS stay the same.

Obama Is The Latest Accessory

"Though killer heels and statement baubles have so far been the favored accessories at London fashion week, Nicole Farhi chose to go a different route at her show yesterday, using an Obama ‘08 button as an alternative to a brooch. So far, no sign of McCain on the British runways."
~Ana Finel Honigman

Duh, McCain will never be in Anyway, I'm gonna start rocking my button now!....As soon as I get one. lol


The Obama Dance? ...I guess...However you wanna show your support!

The Obama Dance

Monday, September 15, 2008

50 days to go!!!

Change I look forward to! :)

You Hold The Key

"I don't know the key to success but the key to failure is to try to please everyone."
Bill Cosby

Friday, September 12, 2008

CSI: Las Vegas Season 8!!!

On Sale October 14th! I cant wait...I want it! YES! :)

Oh yea...I'm starting to like CSI: Miami now too...since it comes on A&E nonstop So I might have to start catching up with that by getting CSI: Miami Season 1...or someone can donate if they've watched it enough already. Hahaha.

Just Keep Digging...

I believe Sarah Palin is digging her own hole. Can she not answer one question straight? ...Nothing but a roundabout

Part 1 of the Interview

Part 2 of the Interview

I wonder how much deeper she is going to dig tonight. She better start learning how to answer questions before the Vice Presidential debate on October 2nd....or it will be pretty

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Free Kanye!

On 9/11 there was a paparazzi attack on Kanye at always. Kanye fights back...and he is arrested. Oh boy. Vandalism and battery...*sigh*...thats a bunch of BS. They cant hold Kanye...let him go!

"Man, it’s so hard not to act reckless
To whom much is given, much is tested
Get arrested, guess until he get the message
I feel the pressure, under more scrutiny
And what'd I do? Act more stupidly"
---- Kanye West 'Can't Tell Me Nothing'

Tuesday, September 9, 2008


There are times that I feel overwhelmed with things that need to be done. But who doesnt... right? I always need to do this and need to do that...a struggle for survival, a struggle to get good grades, a struggle for happiness....and I barely have time to do the things I want. But thats life. I will eventually get to do the things in life that I live for...the things I want to do before my time is up. I just have to take it day by day. Sometimes I appear as though Im doing everything I want and life is just so great ...and easy. Haha...easy. Never is life easy. Everyone fails at some point in life. I have failed many times. But I can only redeem myself through perseverance. I despise the phrases "well you wouldnt know about that"....or "we all know you dont have to worry about that" do you know what I know or what I worry about unless you ask? Dont assume you know me by what you see. Looks are quite deceiving. Maybe that is the reason I seem to have this "perfect" life. Because I refuse to reveal my pain...struggle...instability. But I mean who wants to be around someone like that...that is depressing. People tend to be drawn to positive people and that is what I will continue to portray...a happy, positive person...with the least of worries in the world. Although it is a lie, it works for me. Everyone lies. Everyone. Whether it is to themselves or to someone else. But my lie is not for people to view me as perfect. It is for that the negative...all the worries...all the failures....doesnt effect the ability of positive outcomes to progress. I guess it depends on your idea of perfect. Even so...I am as perfect as a cracked porcelain doll. From what you can see... I might seem perfect....but under these clothes...there are cracks...some bigger than others. I hide them as best I can....I even hide them from myself. But it is for my good...for your good. Why? You will see why....I shall see you at the top!

Life is funny...a class in itself...that you either pass or in between. I'm aiming for we all do. But nothing will stop me...I'm telling you now. There will only be obstacles and lessons learned but no stop time for that. Imperfections....the beauty of life. :)